sambungan cerita semalam..

Refer to my previous post, ibu dah jumpa, family sebelah lelaki pun da okay. Cuma mungkin aku rasa, aku nak share this story with my grandparents.. But what makes it more difficult and complex is that when cik starts to say "tak terlalu awal ke nak tunang".


*Scratching my head*
I think that I'm ready to have a serious relationship with someone.
For me, we dont know what will happen in the future.
Every marriage will have their ups and downs.
I'm not planning to get married yet but it's more or less like
tight a knot by an engagement.

After a few days thinking and wondering and surveying others opinion..
I think that I just want to proceed.
Sooner or later, majlis akan tetap berjalan. InsyaAllah..
Doa-doakan la yg terbaik untuk kami..
Saya selalu remind cik, toki, aunt, uncles.. even my mom sendiri..
Doa yang terbaik untuk saya..

How long you've been with someone for me is not a big deal
Even yang da couple 8 years pun da kawen boleh cari perempuan lain kan?
Or even macam Beego, couple for about 10 years, kahwin bercerai within 10 days.
The duration is not a big deal, it's about two people who feels that they're ready enough to be tight off.
Tapi.. sebenarnya saya nak highlight that the most important reason is not that saya gatal untuk kahwin
Saya tak nak menanggung dosa terlalu banyak and tanya la sesiapa sekalipun,
Couple is really not a good idea, knowing someone for such a long period.. holding hands dengan bukan muhrim..
I guess it's totally not a good idea at all.

Saya pun dah takda ayah..
Saya taknak dia sedih lagi tengok keadaan saya.
Saya buat dosa didunia dia disana pun merasa..
So give me chance to reduce all the burden for him
Eventhough saya tau burden akan bertambah di pihak saya.
Tapi saya percaya, if kita nak buat menda baik,
untuk elakkan fitnah, untuk mengelakkan percambahan maksiat,
InsyaAllah Allah akan tolong..
Sebenarnya saya rasa Allah dah tunjuk petunjuk pada saya tapi wallahualam..

Saya tak cakap saya baik.
saya bukan orang baik, jauh sekali orang alim
Tapi sekarang apa-apa saya buat saya akan fikir banyak kali
Because of my late father..
Confusion mmg ada.. sesiapa je tetap akan ada confusion inside themselves..
Tapi saya percaya if niat kita baik, InsyaAllah akan jadi baik.
Tapi ntahlah.. just pray for me..
InsyaAllah... amin..