So long for now, I miss you abah

السَّلاَمُ عَلَيْكُمْ وَرَحْمَةُ اللهِ وَبَرَكَاتُه,

Bila ada orang meninggal, orang kata Allah sayang dia lebih. Dulu saya kurang faham bila people keep on saying this when my father just passed away. Until then, I started to understand why. Fathers day is just around the corner. Dad's birthday is also few days left. It reminds me of how wonderful our life was back then.

Actually people blame on me or maybe somebody else who is comparing between husband and father. Husband will also become a father one day. So it's a good lesson to learn. My dad was my hero. It's kinda cliche, isn't it? To be honest, I never seen any of these values inside any dad in this world (setakat yang saya kenal la). Why I said that my dad was the best dad ever.

I will share with you our daily life:

First thing:
Dad will wake up early every day. Yes, everyone pun wake up early kan sebab nak pergi kerja. But it's different where my dad wake up, and serve us breakfast! The more interesting part is that, abah akan sediakan breakfast mengikut apa yang anak makan. Contoh saya suka makan roti + mentega + gula. Same goes my 2nd sister. Dad will toast it and prepare our part on the table. While the other daughter, makan kaya, dad serve her kaya with toasted bread. Kalau dah takde aral sangat abah akan buat stock roti dekat rumah. He will make sure that all of us akan breakfast before pergi sekolah.

Second thing:
He sent me to school. Everytime sebelum keluar kereta, kami akan salam abah. Ala... korang kata mesti common things la kan.. Words yang dia tak pernah miss setiap kali sebelum keluar kereta. SETIAP KALI even when his mood swings pun he will always remind us.. And until now I miss those words.. "Belajar rajin-rajin". And now I miss it so much. Dan diakhiri dengan abah cium ubun2x kami. Mungkin dia ada baca certain doa, saya pun taktau. I assume. Sebab lama juga abah cium ubun2x kami.

Third thing:
Lunch hour around 1-2pm. Abah akan balik, tukar baju. Saya ingat lagi. Sampai2x rumah je abah akan salin pagoda dia yang sleeveless tu tak pun yang ada lengan tu. Then tukar kain pelikat. Abah akan masak! Masak lunch, lepas dah settle semua2x, abah akan mula solat. Without makan, abah pergi kerja balik. Within that 1 hour. Just to make sure that his children makan. Kalau abah busy macam mana sekalipun, abah akan call, cakap abah tapau makanan dan abah minta ambil dekat pagar.

These are three things yang wajib abah buat hari2x. Tak special pun? Okay. Let me share with you the special part of abah that we missed the most.

1st - Kalau abah marah, abah takkan pukul anak-anak abah. Last abah pukul untuk mengajar kami adalah pada usia kami 12 tahun. After that, abah tak pukul. Tampar? Sumpah abah tak pernah naik tangan pada muka kami, anak-anak. Paling2x pun abah akan pukul dengan hanger. Sebab apa? Degil la cerita dia. Curi duit syiling sekolah senyap2x. Bercinta time sekolah rendah. Patut la kena pukul kan?

2nd - Kalau abah marah, abah akan panggil anak dia sorang-sorang masuk bilik. Biasa abah akan panggil just after dia solat Maghrib. Dengan wajah tenang, dengan raut muka yang bersih, dengan mata yang kuyu, abah akan cakap. "Abah kecewa dengan kakak. Apa yang abah tak bagi dekat kakak sampai kakak buat abah macam ni." How polite he was back then. "Apa yang kakak nak abah buat untuk kakak dengar cakap abah". I miss those words.. And bila saya salam untuk minta maaf, abah bacakan sesuatu di ubun-ubun saya, diakhiri dengan tiupan di bahagian ubun-ubun. Mungkin abah ada doakan something untuk saya. Mahupun adik-adik saya yang lain.

3rd - Bila abah meninggal, kami dapat tahu yang masing-masing dah ada account tabung haji. Everyone of us. Abah dah siap register anak2x abah tabung haji. Siap dalam tabung haji dah ada duit. Frankly, a big amount of money and I can say that boleh buat umrah dah dengan amount yang ada, mungkin haji pun boleh buat sekali.

4th - Abah the person who teach us to read. Bukan cikgu sekolah. Abah very strict on that. Sebelum masuk sekolah kena pandai baca buku. Abah dia tak belajar tinggi. Dia bukan degree holder. Mahupun master. PHD lagi la jauh. Diploma pun tak. Hanya berbekalkan sijil. Hanya kerja sebagai foreman TNB. Tapi, dari segi pendidikan, dia A+. Dia yang ajar kami. Dia yang tengokkan kami punya homework. Dia yang hantar kami pergi fardhu ain. Dia yang datang sign report card kami. Kalau saya boleh tnjuk bukti setiap rekod card kami, penuh dengan tandatangan abah. Ibu dulu kerja jauh. Kalau dapat nombor corot, takpun dapat B ke C ke abah taknak sign. Terpaksa la kami tiru sign. Tapi kami tak berani tiru sign abah sebab susah sangat. Mesti kami akan tiru sign ibu. EVENTHOUGH tak belajar tinggi, tapi education is very important to him. Abah akan make sure kami sekolah bagus. Abah tak bagi kami sekolah jauh sebab abah kata abah taknak nanti bonding adik beradik jadi renggang. Now we can see the effect of that. Kalau adik saya dapat result teruk pun mesti abah akan usahakan masuk sekolah yang bgus. Takde pelajar bermasalah. Takde kes buang anak, takde kes tak bermoral. Semua abah buat.

Ada lagi ke value2x macam ni pada seorang ayah zaman sekarang? I know that some of them mengharapkan seorang perempuan untuk buat kesemuanya. Ya, memang tugas seorang perempuan. Fathers out there, can you have one of those values with you? Sekarang saya tengok ayah-ayah.. anak kecil pun dah berani tengking2x, marah2x... Pukul lagi.. nauzubillah. Anak dalam perut pun boleh marah2x.. boleh maki2x.. Macam mana tu? Could it be the lesson for u guys? Every parents want the best for their child. If someone makes a mess with his/her child, shouldn't they be sad?

Think of a parent. If you loves your child, don't make a mess on other's child. Allah will return back what you have given to them. Don't blame Allah for that. And for husbands or wives out there, please love you family more than you do. You choose to be with her/him, praise them, take care of them. Because at the end of the day, you will see that only they will stay with you ups and down. I have learnt from my family's history.

I miss you my greatest dad, Allahyarham Haji Mohd Hamdan bin. Haji Kadir.